


D'reen

by Brice_Gottlieb



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Adorable Doreen being a Child, Cute Wade being a Dad, Fluff, Gen, I'm surprised this isn't a thing?, Kid Fic, M/M, More Marvel Heroes Than You Can Shake A Reasonably Sized Stick At, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, it's cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:11:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brice_Gottlieb/pseuds/Brice_Gottlieb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a nutshell, (Nut. Get it? It's Squirrel Girl. Nutshell. No?) Wade and Peter adopt Doreen at a young age. The whole fic is just cute ficlets tied together from various POVs. Ignore the fact that Wade probably would never have a kid, I wanted to see him be a dad for once. If Superfamily can be a thing, can't a Spider, an insane Assassin, and a Squirrel child live together? I call Superfamily 2.0! (Title Changed, 8/26)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me, for I have (sinned) not slept and instead typed this mess.

Peter Parker was no stranger to the rise and reflux of love.

 

Steve and Tony had adopted him young, but not so young that he had no memory of his life beforehand. True, he still visited Aunt May often, but his life was not an unhappy one. Steve was encouraging, Aunt May a constant source of care, and Tony was nothing if not a driving force in his curiosity. Elementary school was fun, especially when you got to be the adopted child of Iron Man and Captain America. Everyone flocked to be Peter’s friend in those days, but that quickly died off during middle school years. Having two dads was grounds for being weird, even if they were superheroes. Peter began to experience his first taste of bullying.

It was shy of six years before they decided to sit Peter down for a talk. Bucky had quite literally fallen out of the sky and into their lives again (somewhere over Washington State, the south-eastern bit if Tony’s calculations were correct) and as it turned out Tony had been harboring feelings for Bruce ever since the scientist had finally settled down a year ago. Peter was 14 at the time, angry and confused. But Bruce was kind, understanding above all things. Where Tony might have scoffed and blamed teenage hormones, Bruce was at ease to dissect a situation and relate to Peter on an emotional level. It was easy to see each of the Avengers had their faults and vices alongside the superhero shine.

 

Nothing much changed; the one couple that raised Peter had become two and simply lived on separate floors. Daily routine was not interrupted, much to Peter’s relief. Tony and Steve still interacted on a friendly level, the same banter being passed about the breakfast table among the five of them (or six to nine if you count the odd Avenger or two that used Stark Tower as temporary residency between missions). Bucky was slow to warm up, but even he wasn’t so bad when he wasn’t staring out windows dolefully. He adored Peter on the light days, though, when the glint was warm in his eyes and the storm clouds lifted from his mind. He wasn’t the only addition; each of the Avengers tolerated young Peter to some degree, and left lasting impressions.

Peter learned them all over the years. Henry and Janet were excellent jokers, easily reached out to when Peter was at his lowest moments. Thor was also a joy to have around, though a little dense at times and Bruce always seemed frantic to stock the fridge while he was accompanying them. Loki, though not an Avenger, sulked his way in at Thor’s pauldrons on more than one occasion, often looking on at Peter in thinly veiled concern and curiosity. Once, the Second Born perched himself on Peter’s desk while the young man attempted chemistry homework, a subject Loki clearly knew nothing about (though he did know plenty about freezing temperatures, Peter soon found out, when Loki dropped the temperature of the whole floor by nearly forty degrees and turned a livid steel blue).

Clint was blunt and quick witted, often appearing only when Natasha did. Bucky avoided her line of sight most times, though she did little of the same, and the assassin nearly always brought Peter a gift from her travels: an uncommon mineral or small trinket she’d picked up along the way. She ruffled his hair a lot. It was childish, but Peter was always left smiling. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch never hung around often, but they were loud enough to make their brief presences known. More than once, Peter was glad to be an only child. T’Challa only really stopped by to see Steve and Tony once in a blue moon, having his own battles to face, but seemed happy enough at Peter’s living conditions. He often left with cryptic wisdom for Tony and wouldn’t appear for months at a time.

Dr. McCoy got along splendidly with Tony and Bruce and visited almost purely on scientific business, though if Peter begged enough, he usually got to sit in on such mentally stimulating conversation. Patsy was nice enough, more to Peter’s age, but hardly talked on topics that interested him. Rhodes was a constant friendly ear, especially concerning matters about Tony. Carol Danvers was probably the most motherly of the Avengers. Peter went to her more than once for advice on how to get girlfriends. Samuel Wilson loved to stay over for movie nights with Peter most of all. Ben Grimm was plenty outgoing, Reed and Susan were usually there on business, but Johnny was an immediate friend throughout his high school years.

Peter was quick to learn he had a similarly aged step-cousin, Jennifer. Unlike Patsy, she hung out with Peter, and the two caused more than their fair share of noisiness. She never seemed to mind being known as She-Hulk (though calling her Hulkina had been enough to get Peter not so gently tossed onto the living room couch). Perhaps it was her bravery or her boldness that led Peter to confess his powers to her only a week after he’d got them.

It didn’t take long for the sum of the Avengers to find out. Steve had been quick to forbid him from crime fighting, but Tony let him out with a blind eye as long as he promised no serious injuries and to be back before midnight. Peter was careful, most nights, but Steve never failed to notice bruised ribs and small cuts. There were a few verbal arguments afterward, to say the least. Bruce tamped such activity down quickly, however, and on the eve of his high school graduation, Peter became an official Avenger.

 

Peter was only 19 when he met an eccentric man in a red suit.

 

Such mild descriptions could be given to any number of the older Avengers. Red was “the color of old school” as Tony put it, but this man was different. Not an Avenger, no. Not with two other voices in your head to argue and joke with. Along with him came more frequent visits from the ever-gruff Logan, and newcomers, Cable and Bob. Everyone seemed to hate him or tolerate him to the bare minimum. Everyone called him a lunatic. But he liked Peter. Peter called him Wade.

Tony (and a sizable portion of the Avengers) didn’t approve. But Peter got a job. Peter got popular in the media. Peter managed to keep his identity a secret, and most importantly, Wade got them an apartment. Falling in love happened naturally, as any love should come: heart chillingly anxious, confessing with sweaty palms, and glorious elation when it was found that the other party felt the same. Wade practically declared it a national holiday.

Sure, Wade often smelled like a wet bean burrito after long stints on assassination missions and sure, the man had an almost unhealthy adoration for music with loud bass lines and The Golden Girls. He argued with the television that they had to replace almost monthly and couldn’t manage his own money worth a damn (Peter realized Wade simply stuffed his earned cash in a large tear in the mattress after waking up with back pain for a week straight).

Wade demanded first use of the bathroom simply to take outrageously long showers, refused to let Peter see him maskless for the first nine months of their relationship, and had a very casual penchant for cross-dressing. He adored dubstep, Florence and The Machine, Studio Killers, and ACDC all in equal measures and gave Peter the silent treatment for three whole days when he interrupted Wade’s “Bohemian Rhapsody Time” (though the amount of conversation Wade could carry with only himself was amazingly noisy for someone giving silent treatment).

He also fussed worriedly when Peter came home injured. He’d call Tony desperately if the injury was any more than a scratch. He’d sit grimly through setting splints and stitching wounds for Peter. Wade was a somniloquist. He often had nightmares and rarely slept more than a few hours at a time. Wade owned exactly 18 black tees, all of them band related, spare 4 with his own likeness on them and 1 with a very cute set of cats in tiny galoshes. He had friends, much to the surprise of the Avengers. Matt Murdock would come over, usually on Sundays, and Wade would constantly throw various and often harmful things in Matt’s direction simply for shits and giggles.

There were many things Peter learned about Wade. There were long stints apart for work. There were times Wade didn’t want to leave Peter’s side, and refused to until they were living off the bare minimum of Peter’s income. There were fights, there were recoveries, there was a lot of conversation and what-if’s and remembered moments. Peter learned about Mary Walker and heard wonderful things about Death. Wade listened to stories about Mary Jane and regrets about Gwen. They both refused to acknowledge Wade’s slowed aging. They both savored anniversaries, and Wade had a plan come the eve of their 5th.

 

Peter had been only 9 when he learned that two men, superheroes no less, could raise a child.  
  


Doreen was only 4 years old when Wade announced to Peter that he wanted a daughter.


	2. Omelette Du Fromage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade makes breakfast. Smells like gross family bonding. Doreen, age 4.

Wade was awoken by a tiny mouth-made farting noise.

 

Wakeful energy tightened in his shoulders, regretfully rolling away from his fitted place at Peter's back to peer blearily at the tiny face peeking up over the mattress edge. She was all bubbles and smiles at this ungodly hour of morning, but Wade didn't have it in him to spite her. Mornings never were his thing. The whole news-playing-on-low-volume, barely-awake, warming-hands-on-mugs-of-coffee thing was Pete's idea of starting the day. Wade, however, found that a pancake tasted like a pancake no matter the hour of the day and therefore, there was no valid reason to wake before noon at the very earliest. But that, like a lot of other things Wade enjoyed, changed after acquiring the tiny mutant.

 

"Hey there, sprout," he rasped softly, starting to stretch. She bounced about on her heels a bit, making tiny fart sounds each time, as if it would prompt him to wake faster. "What? What is it; what do you want?" Doreen pointed into her own mouth in an obvious sign for food. He would have groaned if it wouldn't have woken Peter.

 

"Alright, alright..." he muttered, flicking her forehead gently. She squealed in playful jest, running off on tiny bare feet as Wade began to rise. Doreen scrambled to the staircase, gazing down below. The television was off. The wood floor was undoubtedly cold. She knew she could make it down the steps, but if she just waited....

 

Sure enough, Wade scooped her up by her middle and lugged her down the stairs. Better luck next time, cold wood floors! She patted tiny clawed hands against scarred forearms, slapping out a jazzy rhythm before he dumped her onto one of the three barstools at the counter. Wade was thankful he could make the one food every child enjoyed without complaint, quickly gathering up what he needed without so much as a backwards glance at Doreen, who was now patting her little funk groove out on the countertop. She was smart, he could admit that. She caught on quick and could be incredibly inconvenient at time. There were times Wade was frightened of being a bad influence on her. There were times only he could console her. Like any child, she could be whiny, throw fits, and pout until she got her way. But she was their child, his and Peter's. Nothing could change that now.

 

A little extra time was spent to cut the pancakes for her before Wade set them within Doreen's reach. No syrup; Pete would kill him if she rocketed off on a sugar rush this early. All in all, Doreen was a picture of innocent youth. Chestnut hair stuck up this and that direction, Disney princesses (the originals, not those shitty remakes) plastered over the front of her sleepdress, shoving tiny handfuls of pancake into her mouth. Wade grabbed his own plate and stood across the counter from her. This is what they'd signed up for.

 

"P'pa Weed?"

 

Wade looked up expectantly. She'd stopped eating for the moment, looking up at him with a sweetness in her eyes. The whole thing reeked of Hallmark moment and familial bonding.

 

"I haffa pee."

 

So much for that. Wade set his fork on the plate, rounding the counter to cart her off to the bathroom. "It's Wade, by the way," he said for the hundredth time. The only response he got was a jazzy beat being patted against his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That girl has legit squirrel teeth, don't even tell me that doesn't result in some serious speech difficulty.


End file.
